How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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