You just made me feel so damn special
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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