so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
