and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
