she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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