She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
