i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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