Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I lost the right to judge tonight
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
