I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
