Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
