Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
