walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
