Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
