if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
