Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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