he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize