A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize