JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
the day after is always just damage control
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize