I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize