im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
