my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
is wine microwaveable?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You need a sexual gate keeper
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
