is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
