once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
