just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
