The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
