Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
