4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
