if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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