That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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