okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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