Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
accomplished twins. life is a go
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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