yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
