I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i need some magic done to my vagina
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
