Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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