I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
