Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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