Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
