i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize