The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
