Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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