No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
