come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
