***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
