who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
