That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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