escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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