do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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