Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
