Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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