Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
