so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
