DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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