I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
