I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Randomize
