So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
