I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
