ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
