fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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