we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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