i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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