Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
