Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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